Anxiety Attacks are Symptoms of Overcommit-itis
With our flexible schedules and our (sometimes false) sense of autonomy, we home-office workers are the most susceptible to overcommit-itis. Even more so are the self-employed home-office workers. Our natures of rebellion against schedules and our love of multitasking make us extremely vulnerable to overcommit-itis. We wanted an interesting and varied lifestyle, didn’t we? So all these opportunities (substitute the word requests, if you like) make our eyes sparkle and our hearts be faster.
Did you know that dilated pupils and a rapid heart rate are two symptoms of anxiety attacks?
Didn’t know this would turn into a medical blog, did you? But this is a very valid post for all you home office folks. The self-employed are particularly vulnerable to overcommit-its, it seems.
Among the symptoms of overcommit-itis are:
- Anxiety Attacks
- Indecision
- Seeming lack of discipline
- Unfocused direction
- Inability to finish any particular task
- and Declining Self-confidence.
This is a partial list of symptoms and is not complete by any means. (See symptom on inability to finish task, i.e. lists.)
According to experts, overcommit-itis comes from a very common deficiency, a metaphoric backbone. The cure is quite simple. The suffering patient needs to purse her/his lips together and make the n sound along with the long o sound. As soon as the word ‘no’ emerges from the patient’s lips, you can be assured that she/he is on the mend.
Go ahead. Try it.
I like to draw mine out a bit. Nooooooooooooo.
Ow! That hurts, doesn’t it? It hurts our egos and it hurts our family relationships and our friendships (so how much of a relationship or friendship is it if others want to see you in pain?)
Saying no is not an immediate cure. There’s that huge ‘To Do’ list hanging like an anchor around your neck that you’re still dragging around.
The fastest way to recover is surgery. That’s right, the dreaded back-out-ectomy. Removing one link at a time brings immediate calendar relief, but the side effects are feelings of flakiness and low self worth.
For side effects, I recommend this mantra: ‘I can do anything, but I can’t do everything.’
This is the same mantra you may use in the future to vaccinate yourself from future cases of overcommit-itis.
Back-out-ectomy is not the only way to rid yourself of overcommit-itis. A more gently, yet much longer cure has a two part recovery plan.
- Prioritize your commitments, putting the the one that is most important to you at the top. Note the emphasis. Ordering your commitments in any other way, for example, putting spouse’s, or mother’s or even the dog’s priorities first on your list will not cure you. You may experience a short sense of remission, but that’s a false promise and will not last.
- While working off your priority list, you must make your mouth form and verbalize the word ‘no’ for any and all future commitments, until you have reached the end of your list.
Once you’re finally cured, make a commitment to never overcommit again.
Avoid the crippling symptoms of overcommit-itis in the future by:
- Refraining from nodding your head, looking interested or–the biggie–saying yes to any commitment someone may present to you. (Be aware of the sneaky requests that are often hidden in the form of soliciting advise.)
- Mentally reviewing your priority list.
- Making a mature decision on whether the request is worthy of bumping one of your previously accepted commitments
- Repeating out loud, four times ‘I can do anything, but I can’t do everything.’
After completing all four steps, taking as much time as necessary, then proceed by saying either ‘No, that doesn’t fit into my schedule right now’ or ‘Yes, I am willing to bump other priorities for your request.’
Preventing a relapse of overcommit-itis is difficult, but necessary if you want to make your home-office lifestyle work. Prevention is essential if you are self-employed. Remember. If you don’t work, you don’t get paid. Saying this out loud, coupled with the above ‘No’ statement is your duty to your business as well as your right to self-preservation.
Enough soapboxing for today. Off to perform my own personal back-out-ectomy. I think I’m going to need an aspirin or maybe a glass of whine–make that wine–and a good cuddle after it’s done.
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